Two Things are Certain… Plus One
TWO THINGS ARE CERTAIN… PLUS ONE
Ben Franklin is attributed with saying “Only two things are certain in life. Death and taxes.” I have no intention of arguing with his statement. It certainly has a strong ring of truth. Yet in supporting Ben’s claim, a third certainty of life, that cannot be avoided, is implied … grief.
Whether it is grief about how much we just had to pay in taxes, the death of a beloved pet, or the death of a beloved family member or friend, grief will be a reality for every human. The only variables are how and when. It leaves me wondering why western culture struggles so mightily with knowing how to deal with it. We default to the notion that the best way to deal with grief is to push it away, don’t talk about it, don’t think about it, and find a way to run away from it. So … we go silent, we eliminate reminders of our loss, we begin to use substances to help us escape, we take on extra (often worthy) projects, so we are too busy to think about it. The sad reality is that none of this works.
But there is change in the air. The word is getting out, thanks to the counseling community, that there are better ways to deal with the grief in our lives. First and foremost, it needs to be embraced and we need to talk about it. Abba’s Child is honored to be part of helping people deal with the grief realities that we all share.
In March our first Family Retreat was held at Camp MiVoden in Northern Idaho. Forty people representing 12 family groups gathered to listen, learn, and grow in our understanding of healthy grieving. In many families, individuals try to “be strong” in an effort to not make the others “sadder.” While the motivation has a thoughtful quality to it, the results are generally not helpful. Our primary goal was to give these families and individuals a safe space to share the reality of how death has impacted their lives and to share ideas about how to navigate the grief that does not go away but keeps circling around and impacting in new ways. Here are some of the comments from people who attended.
“This was a great starting point for our family to have conversations. We aren’t as awkward anymore.”
“My family needed this safe place to share.”
“I never realized how badly we needed to hear and to be heard by fellow travelers on the path.”
“Our family gained a better understanding of the many ways people grieve and to be more accepting of each other’s grief journey.”
“Since attending the Family Retreat we are much more comfortable talking about Dad. In fact, we are talking about him almost every day! I write this to let you know that Abba’s Child does make a difference!”
Our next Family Retreat will take place in Oregon this fall. More info to come. Your continuing support makes this possible. Thank you so much!
Monte Torkelsen
President
Abba’s Child Grief Camps
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We wouldn’t be able to do what we do without the help of our amazing Abba’s Child community. Thanks to our facilitators, volunteers and our generous donors, we have been able to inspire hope in 667 children since the start. To help us in our mission, consider volunteering or donating below.
